Wasted Time

It has been awhile since I've posted my honest and raw thoughts.  I've been doing some much needed reflecting this last week. 

For those of you who followed me the beginning of this year saw a lot of the emotional ups and downs I went through while my husband was away at Basic Training for 5 months.

While he was away we wrote to each other almost every day. It was some of the most honest communication we have ever had.  It was also a form of therapy for me.  Everyday I would read my devotions and then write him about all my thoughts and feelings the way I would write a journal. 

It was a lot of self-reflection and honesty.  

It was a time where I was growing strong spiritually.

Now here is the problem...

Since Justin has been back I am so focused on hanging out with him that I rarely make time for a daily quiet time. I rarely write my thoughts out in my journal anymore.  I don't do the amount of soul searching I did during those months he was gone. 

On top of that, all the promises we made to each other in our letters, we are allowing to go on the wayside as life happens. We had so many plans/ goals we were going to work on when he got back.  It wasn't our intention to fall back into our old routine.

I have allowed myself to become lazy and complacent in doing the "easy" routine.

I am at the point of feeling frustrated and angry over not making more of an effort to fulfill my promises and to be the wife and woman I want to be. 

I am rather disappointed with myself.

This being said I have decided to print out my 10 New Year Resolutions, and post them around my house to help remind me what I committed to.  

I've wasted enough precious time since Justin has been home. 

It is time to stop being lazy, and focus on my commitment to my myself, my husband, and most of all God.

 Tomorrow is a new day with a new resolve!

"Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefor do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."

- Ephesians 5:15-17