I don't know how much more of this I can handle. My husband has been gone since January 10th. I thought I was doing so well. But it is all hitting me like a ton of bricks this week. We aren't meant to be separated this long. It isn't natural. Especially with all communication shut off. We only get letters, and those are two weeks behind!
I hate that I barely had time to make any memories with him in our new house before he left. I can barely remember him there. At one point I loved the new house because it felt so cozy, but now it just makes me feel lonely, and realizing that he isn't around. I still have 2 1/2 months left before he comes home and I pray this is just a short low point I am going through and will quickly get over it. I never sleep in the middle of the bed because I don't want to get used to sleeping on my own. I don't want to get used to not having my husband around. I don't want to get used to feeling lonely. How am I supposed to get used to him being gone? How do I act like I am fine when I feel like half of me is missing?
I'm trying to be strong but I will admit I am not feeling strong this week. I pray God gives me the renewed strength I need to get through the next month. Four more weeks till I get to see him...that isn't so long...right?
Hang in there, Elle! I know an empty house can be rough. Maybe you could have a sleep-over, with a couple girlfriends staying over for a night. It would be a fun way to relieve stress and feel more connected to people.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kim for the encouraging words! That is a great idea, and I do need to make some more girl time to keep my spirits up! Moping around and thinking about him to much doesn't help! So that is my plan for the week!
Delete~ Elle
Liz, you are doing great, and Justin is doing a great thing.
ReplyDeleteHang in there dearest. We all go through the emotions at some point in our life. Just think how great its going to be when he gets back in 4 weeks! Its not so long... but I know, no one knows how long it is until they've lived through it themselves. Something that helped me get through those 9 months of deployment- bettering myself. I ran, any free time I had, I was working out, or I was doing something I loved! Fine your inner happiness- maybe sign up for a yoga class? Take your sisters!
Not to mention how important it is that you can prove to your husband/family that you are the anchor when he is gone. That you will hold down the fort like the strong woman you are!
We are all so proud of you and Justin.
I love you, and I plan on visitng you soon.
xoxo
Thank you Mattie for the encouragement! I don't always feel strong but I am feeling stronger this week! (pms could have played into that!) Haha...anyways...unfortunately he won't be home in 4 weeks...but he has a weekend pass in 4 weeks. I wish he was coming home then! He still has another 1 1/2 months after that pass! He comes home May 18th. I think this phase is going to be the hardest because the communication is cut off the most. After the weekend pass I think it will fly a lot faster!
ReplyDeleteWhen are you coming to visit me!