A Day of Gratitude - Part 2 & 3

So while I am resolving to be grateful day to day, I must also be honest.

I get so frustrated when Christians act like everything is perfect and heaven forbid we let anyone know things just aren't great in our lives!

Saturday (the 2nd) wasn't a great day for me. I didn't feel I could post what I was grateful for without feeling like a hypocrite. 

I was really fighting internally with knowing I SHOULD be grateful, but NOT feeling grateful!

I have to admit it was a struggle and I did a lot of praying. 

So today I would like to share TWO things with you to catch up with my "bad attitude" day!

Day 2 - My Husband

Justin and I got married at 21/23. People said we were to young. We needed more time to get to know each other.  I am so thankful we didn't listen to those people. 

We have had ups and downs like any marriage.

But what amazes me most is that God knew exactly what I needed and exactly what Justin needed.

I was not Justin's "type" and he was not my "type"...thank goodness our ideas of what we wanted did not work out!!  Justin is my opposite. He is carefree where I need structure and plans. He is silly when I am serious. He is filter-free where I over think everything I say! He doesn't worry what others say or think. He doesn't stress about the little things. He is spontaneous, and keeps me on my feet!
 I never know what life has in store with him around!! God uses him to throw ruts into my perfectly planned ideas. To keep me relying on God. I firmly believe God uses Justin to help me to learn to stop relying on my own plans and trust solely on God for my future.

Justin was only 21 when we got married, but he was a great husband. 

He was great at showing he loved me in his actions and the things he would do for me. 

He isn't one to be vocal about his feelings...and I am plenty ok with that. 

But he always had a way of DOING things for me that said it all.

I thank God for knowing what I needed, and not giving me what I THOUGHT I needed!

Day 3 - Stability

This might seem an odd thing to be thankful for. 

Let me explain what I mean by this. 

Many people early in their lives/marriage don't feel they have stability...in their jobs, marriage, finances, family, life, etc.

God has allowed both Justin and I to have stable jobs despite our lack of completed degrees (due to us getting married in college). He has allowed Justin success in his field. He has allowed us to have a nice home, beautiful things, good food, financially sound, supportive family, strong friends, etc. 

Many people don't have this. 

I don't want to take all these blessing for granted. I know it isn't just our abilities that have allowed this stability, but rather God has blessed us. 

I don't know that we deserve these blessings, but I am thankful God has showered us in them none the less!

So these are the things I am feeling grateful for today!

Reunited

Welcoming my husband home after 4 1/2 months!

With my husband's return from army basic and airborne training my life is slowly going back to normal.  I love having him back home.  

It's funny how now that he is back it seems like he was never really gone....almost! :)  Those days of depression, sadness, loneliness, and the world creeping by seem a distant dream.

I have to say I was sooo happy to finally get to see Justin in his ACU's (Army Combat Uniform/camo) when he graduated Airborne!  I've decided this is my favorite uniform. The dress blues are nice, but only reflect ceremonies and formalities of the military. The ACU's reflect the battles and danger these men will see and the sacrifice them make for our freedom.  Also I must admit...my husband looks darn sexy in his ACU's too! :) 

Pics from his Airborne Graduation:

So now that I have him back...I am putting him to work! :) 

Today our plan is to get lots of yard work done.  

Tomorrow we plan on going to the beach with friends!

And on Monday...I think we will sit back, grill, and remember those who have died for our freedom which to to often take for granted. 

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and take a little time out to honor and remember those who have sacrificed themselves for our country and freedom, and the their families that remain. 

Happy Memorial Weekend.

~ Elle

I Survived

 I've made it!

 

As most of you are quite aware I have been rather negligent in my blogging lately!  I have been a tad preoccupied getting my house ready for my husband's homecoming after almost 5 months!!  I can not begin to tell you how I have longed for this moment all year!  I will be heading out tomorrow to attend his Airborne Graduation, and then he will be COMING BACK HOME WITH ME!!!

 Soon I will be able to give him back his ring which I have been wearing on a necklace the entire time he has been gone.

I was horribly upset when I realized I left the charm back at the hotel in GA the last time I visited him. I had taken it off so he could wear his wedding ring over the weekend. :( 

I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to all of you who have left encouraging words and advice for me throughout these last months as I had to deal with being cut off from my husband for so long.  You helped me feel not quite so alone! 

Graduation Day Finally Arrived

Those of you who have been following me...not only know that my husband, Justin, has been at Army Basic Training since January...but are probably tired of hearing how much I miss him!

I have GOOD NEWS! 

It is ALMOST over!  He is coming home soon!

All my pining away, long blogs of self reflection, moping, sadness, etc. is about to end! Well, at least for now!

Last weekend I went back to Fort Benning, GA to visit Justin for his Basic Training Graduation! 

The first day started with a  

Turning Blue Ceremony.

This is where he is awarded his Infantry blue cord, representing he has graduated.  Each soldier asks someone special to put it on them.   It is an honor to be asked.

How he asked me:

 "There is only one person I want putting the blue cord on my arm. You have been with me through a lot and supported me going into the infantry so you will be the one and only one who puts the blue cord around my shoulder!"

 The Blue Cord represents the Infantry. 

As they say, "God loves the Infantry. That's why he made the sky blue!"

I only had time to give him a quick hug, hand him back his ring, and sit back down so the ceremony could continue! Below, he is the one closest to the brick pillar.

Justin with his battle buddy, Gunnar, below. 

 

I was so thankful to have my In-laws with me for much needed moral support! My fabulous m-i-l, Kim, is with me below!

 

Of course Justin always has to have his game face on, but I got a tiny glint in his eyes this time! :)

 

After Turning Blue Ceremony, Justin got a weekend pass so we took him out for steak! 

It was not easy returning him to base at the end of the day. It felt so wrong saying goodbye again.

Graduation Day

Graduation day was a lot more difficult. 

I was horribly under the weather due to a bad cough and sinus cold.

It was all I could do to stay focused throughout the graduation ceremony. 

The weather was overcast and chilly...nothing like the rest of the weekend. 

 This is the closest we saw them during the graduation ceremony. Not close enough to distinguish which one he was!

After the ceremony felt like a scene from a movie!  

By the time I got out of the bleachers and in front of the Infantry Museum where the soldiers were allowed to take pictures with their families, Justin was already running down the road to where they were loading buses for Airborne holding. He called me and told me he couldn't wait for me, because he was not allowed to miss the bus! So I am practically running/walking to where all the soldiers are going to get their bags by the buses!  

I am searching frantically trying to find Justin amidst hundreds of soldiers all dressed identically, praying I make it to him before he gets on the bus! 

Can you imagine my dilemma and stress?

Now technically we thought he would be getting on the bus just to go report to Airborne holding, and then released for a weekend pass, but it wasn't a definite, so I had to find him to say goodbye just in case I didn't see him again!

Thankfully I found him standing by his bags, waiting for me! We had about 5 minutes to say I love you's and goodbye. 

This is about the only picture we had time for!

 We said our goodbye, with the hope we would see each other in just an hour or two.  It was a few hours later I was told he might not get a weekend pass...and I cried....a lot. 

Thankfully my prayers were answered and Justin was released that evening around 8pm. 

I would have more pictures for you of us going out, but I was so sick, that I wasn't really in picture mode!  But it was still wonderful to spend the weekend with him! 

Here he is in his dress uniform! 

I am so proud of my Infantryman!

 

Now he is in Airborne School, and I will see him jumping into his graduation in 2 weeks! 

And then bringing him home with me! *sighs*

~ Elle

Back to Reality

Last weekend was jumbled mix of emotions. Thursday evening I was high with excitement at the thought of seeing my husband after 2 1/2 months. He looked so good in his uniform...but then my opinion is biased!  While it was wonderful to spend the weekend with him, it was so hard to say goodbye.

I thought I would share some photos from my weekend with you!

 

(dress from Kohls)

On our way to a wonderfully unhealthy breakfast at Ihop! 

 It took me a bit to get used to his lack of hair!

We ate at a wonderful Hibachi grill for our last meal together before heading back to base.

I'm so proud of this guy for the sacrifice he is making for his country!

 Doesn't he look good in uniform?! :)

 He finally gave a real smile for me!

(dress from TJ Maxx, shoes from Ross)

 Our final photo before saying goodbye...that was the hardest goodbye. Much worst than when he first left for basic. I think when he first left back in January I didn't know what to expect so it wasn't as hard. This time I knew how difficult it was going to be so I couldn't even speak as he told me goodbye and that he loved me.

This whole experience has made me realize how much we take for granted our military and the guys that sacrifice their time, lives, and families for us and our country!  We should never take them for granted, and what they are doing for us!

So now I am back to the reality of a lonely house, and trying to keep busy so that I don't focus on how much I miss my husband! I think I am going to redo a closet this weekend! :) That should keep me plenty busy!

~ Elle

Struggling to Cope...

 via pinterest

I don't know how much more of this I can handle. My husband has been gone since January 10th. I thought I was doing so well. But it is all hitting me like a ton of bricks this week.  We aren't meant to be separated this long.  It isn't natural.  Especially with all communication shut off. We only get letters, and those are two weeks behind!  

I hate that I barely had time to make any memories with him in our new house before he left. I can barely remember him there.  At one point I loved the new house because it felt so cozy, but now it just makes me feel lonely, and realizing that he isn't around.  I still have 2 1/2 months left before he comes home and I pray this is just a short low point I am going through and will quickly get over it.  I never sleep in the middle of the bed because I don't want to get used to sleeping on my own. I don't want to get used to not having my husband around. I don't want to get used to feeling lonely.  How am I supposed to get used to him being gone?  How do I act like I am fine when I feel like half of me is missing? 

I'm trying to be strong but I will admit I am not feeling strong this week. I pray God gives me the renewed strength I need to get through the next month. Four more weeks till I get to see him...that isn't so long...right?

via pinterest

Love Letters

*sighs* I have to apologize...I am having an inspiration block.  I know you don't want to hear about how I miss my husband 24/7, but that is all I can think about.  Is he ok? Is he exhausted? Is he hating every miserable moment of it.  And then I remember I wont get to hear his voice for a month...maybe longer.  I just plain outright miss his crazy self! 

I got my first letter from him today! It was wonderful...2 full pages. In it he wrote 

"They say behind every great man is a greater woman. And I think you are pretty great (and sexy)  so that must mean I'm a great man." 

  That is Justin's usual way of being romantic.  Just to make sure he doesn't sound to gushy he will throw in some form of sarcasm or joke.  You have to understand my husband. He is a guy's guy.  He doesn't like gushy romantic sentimental stuff. He likes sports, guns, and loud music. He says what he thinks and if you don't like it tough luck.  So when he takes the time to tell me how he feels it means a lot to me.  Now he did write other more sweet things, but that is for me...not you...sorry!

They say writing letters long distance rekindles the romance and I can see why! You take the time to write things you might not normally take the time to say when you see them every day.

I was thinking of what I would do with his letters long term. Of course I will never throw a single one away! I still have ones he wrote to me when we started dating 7+ years ago! I love these ideas from Pinterest for copying love letters! What a romantic idea...!

 

Off to write another letter! (FYI, I forgot how long real letters take to hand write!)

4 Months of Loneliness...

 Well...my husband left for Army Basic Training yesterday.  I was very proud of myself for not balling like a baby while saying goodbye! (He wouldn't have let me.)  However, once I got home and started doing things around the house it really hit me how long I would be doing things without him by my side. In theory 4-5 months doesn't seem that bad...but actually living that without your best friend and partner by your side...that's a long time!

This is a very new chapter in my life, and I know it is going to make me a stronger person, as well as strengthen Justin and I as a couple.  I don't think I could be prouder of my husband right now.  He didn't have to do this. He had a great job and was quite good at what he does, but he gave up those comforts to fulfill his calling.  I am so very proud of him for doing what he feels led to do.

I would like to say I looked this fabulous saying goodbye, but that is not the case! Instead I looked more like this...

Here we are holding hands on the way to the airport...

Justin left behind his wedding band so I put it on a chain with an army charm...

 It will serve as my reminder to pray for him everyday...

Ok...I will try not to be to mopy and sad for the next few months! Please bare with me. I never thought I would be an army wife in a million years! This is definitely something the Lord is calling me to be though.  I am determined to use this time for a lot of personal reflection, organization, and self motivation! Hopefully my posts over the next few months will focus on THAT part! :)

~ Elle