I don't know how much more of this I can handle. My husband has been gone since January 10th. I thought I was doing so well. But it is all hitting me like a ton of bricks this week. We aren't meant to be separated this long. It isn't natural. Especially with all communication shut off. We only get letters, and those are two weeks behind!
I hate that I barely had time to make any memories with him in our new house before he left. I can barely remember him there. At one point I loved the new house because it felt so cozy, but now it just makes me feel lonely, and realizing that he isn't around. I still have 2 1/2 months left before he comes home and I pray this is just a short low point I am going through and will quickly get over it. I never sleep in the middle of the bed because I don't want to get used to sleeping on my own. I don't want to get used to not having my husband around. I don't want to get used to feeling lonely. How am I supposed to get used to him being gone? How do I act like I am fine when I feel like half of me is missing?
I'm trying to be strong but I will admit I am not feeling strong this week. I pray God gives me the renewed strength I need to get through the next month. Four more weeks till I get to see him...that isn't so long...right?
